Grassroots Marketing - Postcards Pt. 2

The most humorous encounter of the day involved my walking into the middle of a class at a very conservative spiritual center, where a female guru was seated lotus style at the far end of the room on a dais while the class seemed in some state of rapture, performing very advanced postures.  I smiled awkwardly, clutching my kicks in one hand and a stack of postcards in the other.  The guru smiled back, asking if I was there to see Jane.  I obviously couldn't run my sales pitch in the studio, so I replied "Yes.  I am.  Is Jane here?"  The guru responded "She is in the breathing room.  To your left."  I wasn't sure what the breathing room was, but figured it was the lesser of two evils.  

The breathing room ended up being a simple space with couches and a massage table.  Jane was a very sweet woman who instructed clients on best meditation practices.  She also laughed uproariously at my description of the show (I almost told her to bring her expectations down a notch or two, but refrained).  I handed her a stack of cards and ambled into the hallway to put my sneakers on and head to the next location. 

Rejection and Almost Rejection Quotes of the Day:

"Yeah.  I can't letcha put dose out here.  I'd havta let everybody do it then. You know?  Sorry pal" (pause and glance at postcard) "Are you Gene?" ~ Guy from a certain vegan pizza place

Studio Gestapo, I mean, Employee: "Are you a student here?"

Me: "No." (pause to formulate lie) "I'm a student at another one of your studios"

Gestapo (looking at card, referring to Gene):  "Does he teach (insert specific form of yoga here) at another studio?"

Me: "Uh. No.  He's a student at one of the other studios though."

Gestapo: (long pause) "Ok.  You can put out a couple. But not too many."

Me: "I extend the gratitude and warmth of one thousand suns upon you and your family!"

Gestapo: "Just put out your cards and please get the fuck out of here."

(the last two lines of dialogue were added for dramatic effect)